Keep Up with Me

Keep Up with Me is a song I'm working on right now for Steve Spotswood's play Miranda Is Morning. It's a tango-style cabaret song sung by a drag queen.

Sound fun?... Doesn't make sense?... Come see the show November 20-23 at CUA. While you're at it, check out the entire Hartke season. (Yes, the address says '05-'06, but it's correct.)

Note: This draft uses a synthesized tenor sax in place of the vocals, but I may post a live-vocals version in the next 1-2 weeks.

Check out the lyrics below:

[A cymbal strike, flash of a curtain opening, and a light reveals AUNT JANUS. She’s a striking drag queen of indeterminate age. Elegant and aggressive, and with just the right amount of camp. She’s wearing widow’s weeds—if Versace designed mourning wear. After a moment of tableaux, a piano introduces her with the first chords of a song.]

AUNT JANUS
Some boys can croon
And watch the girls swoon.
With just a note or five.

With the wink of an eye
Women would fly
To their arms and beds.

Some men can sing,
The whole room will swing
And go along for the ride.

For a night on the town
They’ll take you down
If you want to be led.

Frankie was tops when it came to love
But Sammy could beat him when push came to shove
And Dean was my favorite; as you can see
But none of them ever could
Keep up with me.

You say, “But wait.
Don’t you overstate
How much power those fellas have?

Well I'm sure they can wink
And you might sink,
But we don’t feel a thing.”

Well, I say, sit down
And just try to frown
When you see their baby blues

You’ll give out a yell.
And your heart will swell.
The moment that they sing, well...

Frankie was tops when it came to love
But Sammy could beat him when push came to shove
And Dean was my favorite; as you can see
But none of them ever could
Keep up with me.

[Piano interlude.]

AUNT JANUS
How’s everybody today? A little blue? Me, too, darling. Me, too. Why are you so blue? Boyfriend leave you? F*** him, honey, you can do better. For that matter, f*** me. I am better. (hushed and to MIRANDA) What are you doing here?

MIRANDA
My job.

AUNT JANUS
I told you to take some time.

MIRANDA
I did. Time took.

AUNT JANUS
Miranda—

MIRANDA
Next verse.

[MIRANDA brings the interlude and AUNT JANUS’s chiding to an end.]

AUNT JANUS
All of those boys
And all those joys
Are over now, it’s true.

All of those men
Again and again
Put down the microphone.

Clap ‘til we’re sore
Scream out for more
An encore’s not in the cards.

The stage remains bare
And life is unfair
And now I sing alone.

Frankie was tops when it came to love
But Sammy could beat him when push came to shove
And Dean was my favorite; as you can see
But none of them ever could
Keep up with me.

[repeat Refrain.]

Not a single one could ever
Keep up with me.

[Applause. She steps out of the spotlight.]

AUNT JANUS
Now let’s get Janus a drink. She’s gonna need it.